Y - E - S
Y - E - S
Waiting for my time… I want this.
I need to get this off my chest and do not want to open up a can of worms with SF. I am going to use this blog to “send” the email I want to send to him:
Without even trying my relationship with (nickname) is unraveling and if I am honest it was never stable. I just don’t know what to do again… When will this be what I hoped it would be?
When will I just have the strength to move on? I don’t even know if I am single. I am not acting like I am but I don’t have a partner either. I am just dating someone and I feel like it is an audition I am failing.
The past year and a half “dating” you has been emotionally exhausting. You treated me like crap. Never wanting to commit but never letting me go either, you were selfish. I put up with it because I thought you felt our connection. However you never have felt the way I did about you. You are finally “done” or are “over” me and now you want to “check in” to see how I am doing? Why? Trying to make yourself feel better? Telling yourself that, "hey I still care, I want her to be ok and I want her to know that I still care. See I’m a good guy". Well fuck you, you are selfish, if you were actually a good guy you’d leave me the fuck alone for at least a few months, not a couple of weeks. Like I said before whatever is on FB that everyone can see is all I am willing to share with you. Why would I share more?
I am glad you finally got the balls to end it with me though because regardless of how shitty you treated me I wouldn’t have left. I admit I was the one clutching at straws and holding on to something that didn’t exist. But I am actually doing really well and feel like a weight was lifted. This quote best describes how a I have been feeling:
"Was it hard?” I ask.
"Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn’t real."
Am I still hurt, yes. Do I regret anything, no. I am however feeing a lot better than I have in a really long time. I am not stressed. Do you know what was causing a lot of my insomnia? You. I got home from my trip and slept 12 straight hours uninterrupted. I continue to be sleeping well because I am not fucking stressed about dating you.
Maybe someday we can be friends. It’s not like I hate you but a friendship right now is not possible because for the last month we “dated” you were not even a friend to me. And three weeks of not talking is not enough distance I am sure you can at least agree with that.
I guess I am not surprised. My responses are in bold.
I am still hurt although I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER, but he is an ass.
— (via bubblegum-hoe)
— Maggi Richard (via hqlines)